The Self Care Holiday Survival Guide!

The holidays can be a stressful time for all of us! Our calendars often get booked solid with countless family and holiday parties, fighting the crows to find the perfect presents for all of our loved ones, wrapping all the presents, preparing holiday meals, and keeping up with all of our regular responsibilities on top of it.

Do you ever wonder how you are supposed to find time for yourself through all of the holiday chaos?

Many of us simply don’t find time for ourselves through the holiday chaos. Resulting in us feeling overwhelmingly exhausted by December 26th. This is also a large reason why we tend to pack on the pounds during this time of year. However, self care and taking time for yourself doesn’t is not impossible during November and December. Self care is actually even more vital during this busy time of year. Your happiness and your health depend on it!

You can thrive this holiday season by implementing my essential self care holiday tips:

Tip #1: Don’t Say Yes to Everything

Your time is extremely valuable. Once it’s gone, there is no way to get it back. This is especially true during the holiday season. You likely have a long list of things you need to get done this time of year. Please do yourself a favor and don’t say yes to every invite you get for the holidays. This is the quickest way to burn yourself out.

Practice saying yes to the things you truly WANT to do! Your time is far too valuable to spend it doing things that you don’t enjoy. Life is too short for that. Also, be honest about your availability. Just because there’s a time slot open in your calendar doesn’t mean you are available. It’s essential to plan down time for yourself during this time of year. Take the time to enjoy the holidays! Don’t jam pack your calendar with events.

Tip #2: Remember to Drink Your Water

I would never encourage anyone to avoid all of the holiday treats during this time of year. I mean, life is about living and enjoying yourself! However, a happy life is also about balance and moderation. You should definitely enjoy some treats during this time of year, but don’t forget your water and adding some veggies to your meals. Getting enough water and nutrients during this time of year will help you keep your mood up and will also give you more energy too, which we all know you’ll need.

Water is especially important during this time of year because we tend to drink more alcoholic beverages while at all the holiday parties. The ideal goal is to drink half your body weight in ounces in water every day. However, I am the first to admit that the ideal goal can seem overwhelming for those of us who have struggled with getting enough water. My advice is to start where you can be consistent and add ounces from there.

Tip #3: Give Yourself Some Grace

This is an easy time of year to beat yourself up. Don’t. Do. It! Give yourself some grace always, but some extra grace this time of year. You are doing so much better than you give yourself credit for. You are trying your best and that alone says a lot. There’s nothing wrong with you. You aren’t broken. You are a walking miracle on this planet. Give yourself some love.

It is okay for there to be some things left undone. The world won’t end if the dishes don’t get done tonight before you go to bed. It is not the end of the world if you forgot about getting a distant relative a gift for Christmas. Don’t beat yourself up over these small things that won’t have significance in the long run. Making yourself feel guilty is an exhausting activity and it only decreases your self love. Accept that you are doing your best and that it’s enough. It’s always been enough and always will be.

Tip #4: Plan One Hour of Non-Negotiable Self Care Weekly

You can find one hour every week that you can spend on self care and filling yourself up. I know you can find AT LEAST an hour. For some of us, it may seem extremely difficult this time of year, but I promise it’s worth it. Your happiness, your energy and overall well being depend on it.

All of our schedules look different, so find the hour that works the best for you. During this hour, I’m talking about self care that relaxes your mind and body. I’m talking about doing something that you don’t regularly allow yourself time to do during the busy holiday season. It can be soaking in a hot bath, coloring, reading your favorite book, meditating, painting your nails, getting a massage or doing yoga. Whatever activity you choose, it’s important that it relaxes both your mind and body.

During this time of year, so many of us feel like we’re constantly going, like there’s never enough time. For our sanity, it’s important to find time when we can quiet our minds and simply relax. The calming effect will stay with you throughout your day. You’ll feel less overwhelmed and you’ll be more pleasant to be around, I promise. No one likes being around someone who looks like they’re about to explode with stress all the time. It’s exhausting and overwhelming. Take the time to unwind. You will enjoy this holiday season so much more if you do.

Tip #5: Don’t Forget Your Moisturizer

This time of year is brutal for our skin, especially for those of us that live in places with extremely cold weather. Make sure that skin care is part of your self care routine this holiday season. That includes moisturizer for your face and lotion for your body. The little time it takes will be worth it. Soft skin makes us all happier, don’t you think?

One thing that’s helped me when I’m really busy is keeping a bottle of hand lotion with me. When my hands get dry or I forgot to put lotion on, I can do it quickly when I’m on the go.

In my opinion, my skin care routine is a quick and easy way for me to spend some time on self care. It doesn’t take long, but washing my face and applying my products is relaxing. It’s like taking off all of the stress from the day and spending some quality time with myself. These little moments of self care add up to make a major difference.

What self care tip are you going to start implementing?

Healing a Broken Heart Starts Within

Covering your broken heart with other people is like trying to sew up a gaping wound with a band-aid. When you take the band-aid off, the wound is still there. When the new person isn’t around anymore, your broken heart still will be. Don’t try to bandage your broken heart with another human being unless you want to keep bleeding.

In order to heal your broken heart, you have to heal it from within first. This means allowing yourself to feel it, which tends to be the last thing we want to do after getting our heart broken. We try to avoid our feelings any way possible. Thousands of dates with new men won’t make your feelings go away. It is true that time heals, but you can take healing into your own hands to speed up the process. We don’t have to stay in agony for as long as we tend to let ourselves. You have control over your healing, no matter what pain or trauma you may have gone through. You don’t have to sit around and wait for enough time to pass until you feel whole again. It’s time right now to take the journey of feeling whole, on my your own and on your own terms.

How do you get there? How do you heal a broken heart? There may not be a guaranteed way that works for every person since we all heal differently. We all process and experience emotions in different ways. However, I’ve included some of the things that have made the biggest difference when going through my own past heart breaks.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings.

It is time to stop avoiding your feelings like the plague. It may seem easier at first, but it doesn’t make them go away. It just makes them lodged down deeper and more difficult to heal later on. Give yourself time to feel your feelings. Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Do whatever you need to do to feel the feelings and let them out. The only way to release and heal them is let them be expressed first.

We tend to avoid our feelings because it hurts! It is human nature to avoid the things that bring us pain. Your subconscious is made to keep you safe. Yet the thing to remember is that this phase doesn’t last forever. I’m not encouraging you to continue to feel the feelings of the breakup for longer than you need to, but you don’t want to suppress them like we tend to do. You want to allow yourself to feel them and release them. Decide that you are going to overcome this and you are going to come back stronger than ever from this experience.

Detach yourself.

Stop contacting your ex boyfriend. Please, I am begging you to stop the dangerous cycle. I have been here and remember it so clearly. You think maybe if you text him just once, you’ll feel better. Maybe if you text to see how he’s doing, he will realize he was wrong for leaving and ask you to take him back. You’re terrified to stop all communication. I mean, what if you want to remain friends? Not right now, sister. The wound is too fresh. You are still hurting. Contacting your ex continually brings the pain back. In order to begin to let go, you gotta detach yourself and stop communication if at all possible. I understand that there are some circumstances where this isn’t possible, but you at least want to limit communication as much as you can. After my most devastating breakup in my early 20’s, I still had communication and even sometimes spent time with my ex for a year or so after the breakup. You know what it did? It prolonged my process of healing. It kept me stuck in a feeling of feeling broken, frustrated and alone so much longer than I needed to be. I don’t want that for you.

Focus on what lights you up.

During my early relationships, I was 100% guilty of losing myself when I was with the other person. I stopped going to Barnes and Noble for hours. I stopped writing in my journal and reading. I put myself last. So many of us do this when we are consumed by being in love. When you are in the process of healing, you need to find the things that once lit you up. What brings you joy? Focus on that. Be a constant seeker of happiness.

Take time for the things that you stopped doing when you were in a relationship. What are some of your signature things you love? One of my favorite things to do after a breakup is going on a road trip.

Get out of the house.

It’s easy to stay in when you’re hurting emotionally. All you want to do is stay in bed, under the covers, watching sad movies where no one can see you. Don’t do this to yourself. At least not for long. Get outside, breathe in fresh air. Ask your friends to go to lunch. No matter what you do, don’t take cover and never leave your house. Also, no. Work doesn’t count. You need more activity than that. You want to begin celebrating your freedom, celebrating this time to discover yourself again.

Start looking at the lessons.

Once some time has passed and the wound isn’t as fresh, start to look at what you can learn from the breakup. This is the point I submerged myself in self development. I could write all day about this step because it’s that important. This is the most time consuming step of all. What limiting beliefs did you have that showed up in the past relationship? Were you honoring yourself in the relationship? What lesson can you take from this experience? We dive a whole lot more into this in my course, but you can begin by asking yourself the questions I just mentioned. Start reading self development books or following those that inspire you.

Last and most importantly, just know that this won’t last forever. You may think it will, but if you take the journey of working on yourself and doing the inner work, you will begin to feel better soon. Not only will you feel better, but you will feel whole. You will feel full of love all on your own. You will know that you have your own back and you will get through anything life may through your way. When you feel complete on your own, everything in your life becomes better and you start to choose better for yourself too. It’s time for you to choose you!

Welcome to My New Adventure

Starting a coaching business may be my new adventure, but it is something that has been on my heart for a long time. We’re talking about 5 years, back to when I hired my first coach. Self development and doing the internal work for my own growth is something that I’ve been dedicated to for the last 6 years. It has completely changed my life and helped me become the person I am today.

There is nothing I believe in quite like the power of diving into internal work. It allows us to heal, to grow and expand. If everyone on this planet did internal work to find the things that are holding them back, release their limiting beliefs, heal trauma that happened when they were younger and felt their emotions in a safe way, the world would be a different place. There would be less violence, less hate and so much more love!

I finally decided to stop letting fear hold me back and start my coaching business because I continued to see women who were miserable in relationships, but were so scared to leave. They didn’t know how to be alone, how to be whole on their own. It broke my heart because I have been there myself. I remember vividly how desperate I once was to get the man who treated me like garbage to stay with me, so I wouldn’t be alone. I mean, this man regularly made me feel not worthy and not enough, picking out every possible flaw and yet I stayed. The thought of being on my own was so uncomfortable and scary that I did anything I could to prevent him from leaving me. Now, years later, I am eternally grateful that he did break up with me because it was the catalyst for all of my healing and my self love journey. I didn’t see it at first. It took me years to begin to be alright on my own. I would go on as many dates as I could, trying to find anyone to keep me busy and make me not feel alone. I even allowed myself to still talk and see the ex that treated me like garbage. The moment when things really changed for me was after attending a 3 hour self development workshop. This is when I began to start diving into my own trauma and heal from past hurt. This was the moment when I started to not only survive on my own, but started to really THRIVE on my own.

All of my own inner work has led me to here, beginning my self love and mindset coaching business. I am on a mission to help as many women as I can begin to fall in love with themselves, to make themselves their top priority and to raise their standards for how they allow themselves to be treated. Beginning to love yourself and thrive on your own doesn’t have to take you years like it took me. I want to be able to help you change your life and transform your relationship with yourself and your mindset within weeks. You can fast track your way to more love with my Self Love Awakening Course or 1:1 VIP coaching package. Let’s take the journey together!